they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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