Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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