I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
