3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
