Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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