Can Purell be used as lube?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Randomize
