I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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