I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
