The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
