Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
nutella sex= disaster
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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