I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
