It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
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