So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Who died my cat blue again?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
