Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
