i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
