I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize