I looked at my own cervix.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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