And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
