i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
