My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
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