Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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