People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
