He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
