Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
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