He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I think I sprained my soul last night
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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