just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
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Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
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fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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