He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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