6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
the room spins SO much faster in panama
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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