Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
