Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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