I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
