I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
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The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
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I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
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