So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
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