I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
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