Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
