no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
