I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
