Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
