I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
