yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
