I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
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