ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Pappa wants mamma naked
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
