Texts From Last Night

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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.

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  (612): Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too. http://tfl.nu/msn4
  Replies (38) Good night (4030) Bad night (691)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible

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  (573): Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible http://tfl.nu/a2el
  Replies (31) Good night (1077) Bad night (3463)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy

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  (814): i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45 (773): Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy http://tfl.nu/wt4o
  Replies (7) Good night (3572) Bad night (1059)
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  (949): View more from California

  The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.

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  (949): The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women. http://tfl.nu/zhxo
  Replies (22) Good night (6621) Bad night (3279)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.

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  (780): I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar. http://tfl.nu/tmrj
  Replies (15) Good night (3888) Bad night (1524)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.

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  (512): I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub. http://tfl.nu/cojk
  Replies (7) Good night (6251) Bad night (1301)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.

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  (313): I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many. http://tfl.nu/e16i
  Replies (6) Good night (2364) Bad night (1416)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.

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  (860): omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning. http://tfl.nu/wknn
  Replies (6) Good night (2278) Bad night (1418)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.

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  (636): Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me. http://tfl.nu/3e5v
  Replies (9) Good night (1670) Bad night (842)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.

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  (617): Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won. http://tfl.nu/nnbm
  Replies (13) Good night (1268) Bad night (2087)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS

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  (978): I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS http://tfl.nu/o0md
  Replies (2) Good night (1142) Bad night (541)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened

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  (904): show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened http://tfl.nu/zata
  Replies (3) Good night (1022) Bad night (641)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....

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  (720): He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ.... http://tfl.nu/i5f3
  Replies (3) Good night (628) Bad night (905)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude

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  (417): You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude http://tfl.nu/zezo
  Replies (0) Good night (441) Bad night (373)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew

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  (610): come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew http://tfl.nu/c9l4
  Replies (6) Good night (572) Bad night (283)

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