Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.