Texts From Last Night

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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS

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  (717): You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS http://tfl.nu/mc97
  Replies (40) Good night (9449) Bad night (752)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms

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  (443): the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms http://tfl.nu/2y09
  Replies (22) Good night (4631) Bad night (1035)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song

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  (401): Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song http://tfl.nu/c63n
  Replies (19) Good night (4851) Bad night (1348)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.

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  (352): Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa. http://tfl.nu/e1sr
  Replies (26) Good night (6769) Bad night (1499)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.

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  (832): Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella. http://tfl.nu/o5ml
  Replies (14) Good night (5375) Bad night (2589)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.

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  (214): No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds. http://tfl.nu/2lul
  Replies (42) Good night (1893) Bad night (6624)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.

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  (678): As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off. http://tfl.nu/2oau
  Replies (3) Good night (2834) Bad night (732)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though

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  (708): we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though http://tfl.nu/249z
  Replies (4) Good night (2572) Bad night (607)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Your blankets are not drunk friendly

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  (706): Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving (706): Your blankets are not drunk friendly http://tfl.nu/10kf
  Replies (2) Good night (845) Bad night (1073)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing

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  (270): So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing http://tfl.nu/i92f
  Replies (5) Good night (1518) Bad night (641)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"

  (425): View more from Washington

  I want to be you.

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  (360): I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze" (425): I want to be you. http://tfl.nu/ldeq
  Replies (6) Good night (2404) Bad night (626)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.

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  (704): Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor. http://tfl.nu/wceh
  Replies (9) Good night (3774) Bad night (1017)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF

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  (202): Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF http://tfl.nu/zpe8
  Replies (2) Good night (843) Bad night (388)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior

  (226): View more from Ontario

  Little bit of both

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  (519): True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior (226): Little bit of both http://tfl.nu/0xgz
  Replies (1) Good night (506) Bad night (271)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.

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  (407): Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs. http://tfl.nu/cd83
  Replies (0) Good night (717) Bad night (217)

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