i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
These 21 People Came Up With Hilarious Excuses For Their Hickies
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.