I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
