my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
