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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation

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• (805): View more from California

  Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST

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• (714): View more from California

  You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday

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• (660): View more from Missouri

  So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.

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• (315): View more from New York

  I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.

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