I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
that may or may not have been my penis.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
