Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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