It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize