dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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