the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
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You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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