3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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