That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
