3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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