i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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