The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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