my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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